Wifi connection management can be a bit fiddly on Windows Mobile, but WeFi looks like it might be a step in the right direction. When activated, the app searches for nearby wifi hotspots and grade the quality of their connection before connecting you to the best. You can specify an app to launch as soon as a connecton is made and WeFi will also alert you if your IM contacts are online. Here is a quick YouTube clip showing the app in action:
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